Friday, September 21, 2012

A HUGE announcement...and Vinnie

So, before I step aside for Vinnie, I have been sitting on some news for a while and had to wait for a few things to happen before it could be officially announced to the public. I am proud to announce that I have been selected as the new editor for the talented Mark (I get to call him Mel) Tufo. Not only was I able to edit Zombie Fallout 6 (yep...I've already read it! Jealous?), but I will be going over the first five in the Zombie Fallout series and giving them a little polishing up.

This is very exciting news for me. It is evidence to me that my hard work and studying has paid off. To be approached by somebody who rates consistently in the Amazon Top 100 in horror and invited to be his editor is an honor and something that I will not take for granted.

And now...Vinnie DeSporto.

Yo, Vinnie DeSporto here, so listen up. So last week, Vinnie told all you bookish types a little somethin' special. Oh, do not think that for one moment I expected you pasty-faced artsy types to listen, but if what I am hearin' is correct. most of youse can't rub two pennies together and make a jingly noise--I'm lookin' at you Rosamilia...IF that's your real name.

While all the so-called "professional" prognosticators were suckling on the Peyton Manning teat, I told everybody that the Dirty Birds were gonna whitewash the Bronco windshield. I hate to say I was, actually, I LOVE to say that I was right. So there...

Now, while I would enjoy going on forever about how right I was, it is time for a new week, but first, let me introduce you all to a new feature. Welcome to Vinnie's "Pus Bag of da Week" award. Mister Gregory Schiano, YOU are Vinnie's Pus Bag of da Week. 

Let me be the first to tell you that considering the fact that you coached college ball at Rutgers, I for one am appalled that you would be so careless. If you wanted to whack Eli "Cry Baby" Manning, you should know better than to try such a thing on national television. You give all the good hit men in Jersey a bad name with such carelessness. The first rule of a good hit is that you leave no witnesses. Oh...and you missed.

Now, everybody who watches the No Fun League knows that, at the end of the game, the team with the ball and the lead will kneel down in what is called the "Victory Formation" or, as I like to call it, the "You Guys Suck SO Bad, We Don't Want To Make You Look Even More Stupid" formation. To send your entire defense in at Eli's delicate little ballerina knees was what some might call in poor taste. I just think it was sloppy. And then, to come to the press conference with the lamest pack of excuses I've heard since the Clinton "I did not have SEX with that woman" line.

So, for being so sloppy, Coach Schiano, YOU are Vinnie's Pus Bag of da Week. Now, as for Vinnie's pick, I hate to repeat myself, but as long as somebody wants to give this year's eventual NFL Champion a few points, I say take Atlanta and giggle when they give you three points against a mediocre San Diego team.

Steppin' on toes from da Rose City, I'm Vinnie DeSporto, in your face.

1 comment:

  1. How am I to cope..... a brilliant author linked with a fantastic publisher!! SQUEEEE! to quote a good friend