Friday, February 8, 2013

Overcoming negativity.

They lurk in the shadows...some stand out in broad daylight. They are the beasts known as "Naysayers". They wait for you to accomplish something...or even better...come close to a goal before they strike with what seems like surgical precision. You may be sitting beside may be unfortunate enough to live with one. 

Early on in my life, I was foolish enough to listen to that sort of thing. It wasn't until my third marriage that I met somebody who, upon discovering a box full of my writing, told me that I absolutely had to pursue that dream. I was even more fortunate when I found Denise. She not only spoke those same words, but she pushed me and engineered the feat of compiling one of my scribblings into book form and presenting it to me, Christmas 2009. That is when I held the copy of Zomblog in my hands for the first time. 

I knew stepping into life as a writer that I would have to endure the slings and arrows that come with a past. And honestly, I am of the mindset that there will always be some people who want to bring you down no matter how "good" or "bad" you may be as a person. The reality is that the entertainment industry (and yes, writers must be included under that banner no matter how well-known they may or may not be) is a bit of a cesspool. And in this age where self-publication had become so simple...the number of "writers" has exploded.

There is an unfortunate undercurrent created by the influx of people that compete for your hard-earned dollar. Some people do not feel there is enough room for themselves and others and will result to any means to bring others down. Whether it is "troll" reviews or social media hate campaigns, people have freedom to act out in the safe confines of their desk where they sit as sentinels over their own "dirty little secrets" while trying to bring to light any flaws that they can find in others.

I made a choice long ago to be as transparent as possible. Sure, it meant opening doors that might allow people to see the unflattering aspects of my life; however, it also meant that I would not be living a life of deception. Because of that choice, I have met some wonderful people who are willing to be my friend. Sure, I have also invited more than your average share of personal attacks. I actually support both sides. There are people who have endured terrible horrors in their lives, and no words that I possess can ease the pain they feel every single day.

What I can do (and make my continued best efforts at) is to live a life each day that justifies and earns the faith those who have called themselves my friend (and meant it) have placed in me. That means walking a little straighter, working a little harder, and above all else...being appreciative. But there is one more part to it...and it is admittedly selfish. I strive to succeed where others would have me fail. I approach each and every day with the mindset that I can not and will not be beaten. My success will always be just a bit more difficult to attain, but it is attainable.

So, when the "Naysayers" start to sing...and I notice that it ALWAYS coincides with times when I am experiencing success...I forge ahead determined to do just a little bit better. Sure the temptation to quit will arise, but you have to decide if you are willing to give anybody that much power over YOUR life.

So, if you have been busting your ass to lose a few pounds and that one person who can't stand to see you make it to your goal asks, "Hey...are you putting on a few pounds?", don't throw up the white flag and tear into a bag of cookies or a quart of ice cream...remind yourself that you are doing very well,your goals are being reached...and that person will have to wake up to their miserable self for the rest of his or her life.

One last thought...resist the urge to say "nanny-nanny boo-boo". Simply enjoy the victory.


  1. I make a point of being extra nice to the folks who act like asshats. Maybe they will see how that makes their own actions look in contrast, maybe not. Maybe they'll change their tune, maybe not. Either way, it might help other people see them and me, for the kind of people we really are.
    If they continue, I either hire a hitman, or ignore them, depending on the balance in my savings account. ;-)

    1. I totally agree with the first paragraph...but I will remain mum on my thoughts on the second on the basis that I do not have a savings account at the moment.

  2. Replies
    1. Do your best every single day, and let the naysayers spin their will open more distance between yourself and least that is how I see it.

  3. always PROUD to be called your friend

  4. Kinda proud to call you my son-in-law.

  5. I was watching ID the other night and the "criminal behavior analyst" on this program talked about how this feeling of moral superiority eventually led a woman to commit murder. People get all self-righteous about the littlest things, ya'know? And some of them JUST WON'T LET UP. Those are the psycho scary ones you take out restraining orders on. I can't even begin to imagine what sort of crap you must put up with given the circumstances... but all kinds of respect for you for just being up-front about it. It would be very easy to hide something that ugly behind a pseudonym.

  6. Thanks Renee. I have found that success at any level comes at a price. And in other good news, I have lost almost 15 pounds in the same six weeks that have been some of the best on the sales side of things. Hard work will always pay off and it is the best defense against negativity in your life.

  7. I just had a run in with someone this week who chose to be verbally abusive and belittling. I chose to keep my temper and continue to talk civilly. I think when I remained "nice" that pissed him off more than anything. The thing is, I don't have to regret anything I did or said. Not sure this dude has a conscience, but if he does - he should be full of regrets.

    You just can't let people get you down.