Monday, September 8, 2014

If I died tomorrow...

How many of you have had "THAT" conversation with your significant other? As you get older, it does become an actual possibility. Of course we all know how to answer that question correctly.

"I would become a hermit and never love again."

Nobody want to be the one to say they will go out and find a new (possibly younger) love interest. Well, you could, but that is only if you have a REALLY comfy couch or recliner to sleep in for the next day or two. However, when that conversation arose recently in my house, it made me think.

I doubt I could get a relationship to flourish at this point in my life. Seriously, here is the stat sheet and I will break them down after the list: 
  1. I am a "clean/neat" freak.
  2. I write and DO NOT like to even be spoken to casually when I work.
  3. My dogs sleep ON the bed, not the floor, and that won't ever change.
  4. Football.
  5. Off Course Racing.
That is just the start. SO let's look at each one on just the first few things that come to mind.

Number 1 might seem like a good thing. I mean, I stay home all day, so I have and maintain a very neat and orderly house. I vacuum, dust, do laundry...all that stuff. I also cook and have dinner ready when my wife walks in the door from work. So what is wrong with that? For one, I have a very RIGID schedule when it comes to my cleaning. And I like things done a specific way. That can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Number 2 can be really hard on any chance at creating a new relationship. I work sometimes 10-12 hours a day and can go for months with no day off. That can leave the other person feeling alone and neglected. No, I don't want to talk, I don't want to go out (I love staying home), I don't want to do a lot of things that people do when they are dating. That would not change. Ever. I love what I do and writing is my JOB. Just because I am at home does not mean that I am not working. That can be a problem.

Number 3 might be no big deal to some, but I have actually asked a female or two to go ahead and leave when they did not approve of my dogs on the couch or coming up on the bed when it was sleepy time. (No, not during other adult activities, but when it is time to sleep, Aoife cuddles right in and that is where she will stay.)

Number 4 is one I have had to deal with in the past. Many a female has not taken me seriously when I have said up front that football is like a religion in my home. They think it is one game a week...not an all-consuming event that lasts for six months. They have always been welcome to join in, but I don't miss football season for anybody.

Number 5 is new. However, between my training and the actual events, it takes up a lot of time. Join in, come watch, or stay home. Those are the choices. I won't be stopping this any time soon.

My wife is good with almost all of these. Sometimes she can forget that I am working in my office and want to tell me something, but for the most part, she is good about leaving me to my work. And as for the other 4...she gets straight "A" marks. I just do not see how I could ever cultivate a new relationship with somebody. Add in that I LOVE my alone time and actually need it to stay sane...I am just not that great of a catch for somebody new.

Yep. That was the result of that question when it came up recently. about you? Is your current significant other the only person you can imagine would be able to put up with you at this point in your life?

1 comment:

  1. I have had this conversation with my husband before and have had a hard look at it's possibilities. About 9 years ago he had a really bad series of seizures (grand mal epileptic) and he was in the hospital. They did a direct pad EEG and it formed a blood clot on the brain. He was in ICU for a while and I was given an advance directives packet in case he passed. I was scared and knew that life is short. He did recover but the idea has never left me.
    I could never love someone as much as I love him. I always joked that I would become a lesbian in his absence. I was never good at dating and I can do very well on my own. I enjoy being alone and my husband knows I need some time everyday to do that. Even without him.
    I will always be slightly crazy and I will not change for anyone. I need someone who will ride those wicked waves with me, if not they should just stay on the beach.
    I will never make a ton of money, and as long as I have enough for bills and food I am ok. Some people live for money and always want to get better and nicer things, I like the things I have already and most of them are inexpensive (books, cooking supplies, fuzzy blankets, and writing supplies)
    I have been with my husband for 17 years and we have 2 kids who will be adults soon. I see no need to have any more children or take on anyone else's. I can be selfish on that last one. I made a promise when we married--I'm only doing this once. And I mean it.