Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Ava speaks!

I just had my hair done...then I saw how much it cost.
Yes, well...not sure how many people actually read these things. I know I wouldn't...no matter how big of a "fan" I might be. Seriously...isn't this just some 40-something guy rambling on about whatever sparks his fancy?

Anyways...he told me that I needed to make an appearance. So here I am. Ta-da. If it helps any, ladies, my hair is a mess, I have not shaved my legs in three days (I was so disappointed when that little aspect of my human side resurfaced) and since no guy is in my life at the moment and I have no plans of entertaining company...I might not shave them for three more. Yeah...you guys just keep believing the fantasy that we primp and look "date ready" 24/7.

So...first question...

Do some humans taste better than others?

Easy answer...yes. But it is like ice cream...we all have(had in my case) our favorites. Am I right? One person might be a Chunky Monkey fan, the next loves salted caramel. My preference is for men with just a small start on the garage that overhangs the classic car if you know what I mean. Much like good beef, just the right amount of marbling (umm...that would be FAT) really adds to the flavor. Also, if he was a scotch drinker...it adds a nice woody/smokey taste.

Guess who is on my dream menu?
Would flip flops be a better option than your training shoes ( sneakers) and if u used nail varnish on your toes does it get ruined every time?

I would not ever wear flip-flops. I always hated that piece of plastic or rubber between my big and second toe. Also...just as a side note...feet are gross. I don't like looking at other people's and I don't like them looking at mine. As for nail polish...I only put it on when Lisa and I are going to have a film fest (which always starts with "The Notebook" so we can cry ourselves out early) or if I am going on a date. Again...I hate feet and can barely handle touching my own.

Have you always spaced out like that, or is it something new?

Have you always asked stupid questions? No...seriously, the answer to that is that it has always been a problem for me. I am worse than your boyfriend/husband while watching a sporting event. The big difference is that my distraction comes form my own mind, not watching a bunch of guys (who can't hear you when you yell at them through your television, by the way) play a game that you were probably only mediocre at in high school.

Did somebody really send you a "word-of-the-day calendar? And weren't you insulted?

Yes, they did. And I was not at all insulted. I loved it and was sad when December 31st came and I did not have it on my desk anymore. I get all kinds of weird things in the mail, and I even have a shelf for some of my favorites. (I just got the cutest "Despicable Me" minion!)

So, thanks to the few of you who popped in to ask a question. One last note for Cayreen... Yes, Ava will probably have her on Facebook page eventually. Chantal, my ghost writer, she promises that she will put one together as soon as I start selling more than 20 books a month.


  1. Sorry, i had work and school so i could not pop pver to ask questions. I do love reading in ava`s thoughts on things. And I have two minions chillin on a shelf in my living room. She could always send a reply to the person that sent the first calander and ask for a second?

    1. Reply from Ava: Surprises are much more fun. Plus, then it would almost seem ungrateful. Love me some minions...wonder what they taste like. Probably bananas.

  2. On the nail polish, what happens when you ghoul out after painting your fingernails? Does the polish get messed up? Does it crack & try to stretch when the nails go all long & sharp?

    1. Reply from Ava: Same as the toes...it actually peels off or flakes like an old house sitting in the Arizona sun for a decade ot two. Basically hideous.