The challenge of killing strangers properly.

Today is the release of DEAD: Snapshot--Leeds, England. Thanks to some incredible beta readers, I think this may be the cleanest book I have released. It is also apparently going to read true to those from that neck of the world thanks to a few of my Beta readers from that geographic region Who wold have thought that people who share basically the same language can speak so differently? Like, did you know they don;t call their bums bums? Nope. They are called scratters.

Overall, I am actually very pleased with this book. Also, it is the first time I have included a "graphic content" warning in the pages of the book itself. It is at the start of chapter 2 and reads: {The following section contains unsettling and graphic images that may be disturbing to some readers. Sensitive readers may wish to skip ahead FOURTEEN paragraphs to the *** marker in order to avoid this graphic scene.}

Hopefully, that will stem some of the usual vitriol about such things. I do realize that such things could be skipped or ignored, but I refuse to shy away from things just because a few people get bent out of shape. I am currently listening to a wonderful zombie book called 100 Days in Deadland by Rachel Aukes. She has a very stirring and upsetting scene when Cash actually performs a "mercy killing" on a young girl (identified as a minor) who was kept as a victim by a group of horrible men. Not one review tees off on her for including such depravity.

I guess it is just the way of things in the business. Still, I do think that DEAD: Snapshot--Leeds, England is a very good bit of writing. I found a stride in it and the story unfolded very nicely. I hope that a few of you will give it a try and then be so kind as to share your thoughts by way of a review. Yeah, I know that not everybody will like it. That truly is the nature of this business. However, I feel it will hold up well against anything out there.

Review: call of cthulu

call of cthulu by H.P. Lovecraft
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I have heard about these tales forever it seems. I finally decided to give this Cthulu thing a shot. I am obviously very much in the minority here, but the story just did not gel for me. It was not anything that grabbed me, pulled me in, and refused to let go. Rather, I just wanted to be done with it and say that I tried.





View all my reviews

Wow! What a weekend!

I had an amazing 50th birthday. Today is simply a thank you to each and every person who made it so special. I had a "staggered" birthday party on the 19th (the day after) where my friends showed up with staggered arrivals. This let me spend a good bit of time with each of them and not feel like I was leaving anybody out. 

The party was just my speed...casual. It kicked off when Jenifer showed up with my Star Wars birthday cake. (She blew me away with a really cool coffee mug and some Star Wars shirts as well as being our doggy sitter when Denise took me out to dinner for my birthday at the Portland City Grill which is on the 30th floor in downtown Portland and offers an excellent view.)

Just a taste of the view from my table that night for those who have never been...

Everybody was so thoughtful and the gifts I received ran the gamut of fun and playful to one person who proved how well she knew me by giving me CLEANING SUPPLIES! (Yeah, I'm a bit OCD and tend to be a clean-a-holic.) Seriously, some folks might think a "Sham-wow" is a gag gift, but this person knew me better than that. (There was also a LightSaber!!)

Some of my readers even got in on the fun and I received some Amazon cards which helped add Sphero 2.0 to the droids that now run rampant in the house. (Big thanks to Ben Kraus!) Not sure who enjoys these new toys more...me or the dogs.

Having some of my Portland Thunder friends over was VERY special. I really never expected to meet new friends when I grabbed my season tickets to the Portland Thunder Arena Football team a couple of years ago, but that is exactly the case. Zola Thunder and Beth Honey gave me a very cool book set that now sits beside my bed and will satisfy my Star Wars craving for quite a while.

I even got new jammies that help me channel my darkside! And from my season ticket neighbors at the Thunder, it was a groovy mix of Star Wars, Zombies, AND Dr. Who. They covered EVERY base!

Those were just a few of the amazing moments. However, the big thanks goes to my wonderful wife who made it all happen. She managed to score one of the BB-8 droids that are the current equivalent to the Tickle Me Elmo when it comes to finding one.

There is so much that can't go into describing what made my 50th birthday so wonderful. I got cards from lots of well wishers (Vix's was my favorite, plus it was from across the pond which made it super cool since I am such a fan of the UK!) To each and every one of you, THANK YOU for making it my best birthday ever. And now...time to get back to the real world...mostly.

Who wants a signed Night of the Living Dead script?

NEW cups for my collection...yeah, I collect coffee mugs

Yeah, so I am fifty today. That said, this will be short. Today, I want to give away 50, yeah FIFTY audio books! All you need to do is comment either here on the blog or on the Facebook or Google post with the title of the audio book that you want (and specify if you are Audible.com or Audible.co.uk). I will be in touch Sunday or Monday to make the arrangements to send you your gift. Once sent, I am able to actually see if they are claimed.

Oh...and if I hit the magic number of 50 given AND claimed...I have another gift for ONE lucky winner. All who enter will be in the drawing for a copy of the screen play for Night of the Living Dead signed by John Russo and George Romero. As a bonus, anybody who claims a That Ghoul Ava title receives two entries in the drawing. (Although you still only count as on in my totals.)

I got TWO, so why not SHARE the love?!

So, tell your friends, get anybody you can think of who might like this to enter. If I don't hit 50 entrants AND claimers...it goes back in the prize locker. (Oh, and the picture is mine...the winner "only" wins the signed screenplay).

Yes, one entry per person and all that jazz. Oh, and if we hit the 50 giveaway mark, I may come up with something to allow for more people to enter this little contest. But I think getting free stuff is WAY cooler. The drawing will be on September 30th, and there is a bonus entry to any who post a review on Audible.com for the title they received (good or bad...it is totally okay if you are less than thrilled, I prefer honest reviews).

Want a NotLD script signed by Romero and Russo?

Tomorrow, my blog will go live as usual. The thing is, I will only be sharing it on my Author TW Brown Facebook page and on Google+. I have a big announcement involving how YOU could win a Night of the Living Dead screenplay signed by John Russo and George Romero. If you don't already follow my blog or have yet to hit that pesky "Like" button on that author page, you might miss out.

See you tomorrow!

How to survive the football season (Part 2)

What the HELL is fantasy football?

This new entry in my Football Widow's guide to Surviving the football season deals with the confusing idea of fantasy football. Many homes are now in the grips of the first magic week of the NFL season. (Oh and yes, college is in full swing as well which deserves its own entry at a later time.) So, this will be a brief primer about why your significant other is ranting and raving about a player NOT scoring against his beloved team.

The idea behind fantasy football can be very simple, but also far more complicated than you might think. A fantasy football team is drafted by team owners and will consist of players from many different teams in the basic positions of quarterback, running back, wide receiver, tight end (not what you might think), kickers, and a defense. Some leagues go so far as to add IDPs or, Individual Defensive Players--defensive line, linebackers, and defensive backs.

The scoring systems may vary a bit and offer certain bonuses, but the basic idea is that your fantasy team scores points tied to those individual players drafted. So, when your human black hole is now, not only yelling at the television when his team is playing, but now also seems to be yelling at random things...here are some reasons. Let's say he has a running back on his fantasy team that runs the ball all the way to the one-yard line and is tackled, then in comes some back-up to get the ball and plunge in for the score. Sure, he gets some points for the yards, but the big money is in the touchdown. It would be like you slaving in the kitchen and making this amazing meal...and then he comes in, sprinkles something over the top and everybody tells HIM what a great meal HE has made. (Okay, I could have used a lot of other examples, and before you get your panties bunched up, I am the cook in this house and also do the housework...there was nothing sexist about that example, just using it as an example.)

So, let's say that you are trying to be a art of this aspect of your significant other's life. How can you even begin to understand this new wrinkle. Best way is to join a fantasy league. There are many you can do for free on NFL.com and Foxsports.com.If you do a little poking around, you can find a league (even after week one!). They will explain their scoring system on the league information page. Since you are pretty smart, you won;t have any problem understanding the system. You might not know who to take in the first round or anything, but this is a learning experience.

I suggest doing one on the sly this year to learn about what you are doing. You will learn about how you might want to start certain players against certain teams for various reasons. Like, let's say you have a running back facing a team that is known for doing a terrible job of stopping the run...see? There is actually a lot that goes into this little side hobby that many football widows are even more confused about than they are about the actual game. 

One of the most entertaining things that happen to fantasy players is when they start grousing about why they started one player instead of another. You will usually hear them say something along the  lines of, "Damn! Why didn't I start Player X! He's sitting on my bench while Player Y is started and not doing a damn thing!" Might as well be an entirely different language, right? 

So, football widows...any questions? Fire away!

How to survive the football season (Part 1)

It is the kickoff to football. For some, crickets are chirping. They could not care in the slightest. But for others (me) it is a magic roller coaster of joy, pain, love and heartbreak. Two years ago, my beloved Seattle Seahawks won it all against HOFer-to be, Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos. I shared that day with friends and my wife who cheered right alongside me. The following year...well, we still don't talk about that last play by the Seahawks against the hated, despised New England Patriots.

For some, this is a time where they feel left out by their spouse. They do not understand the obsession. And dear lord, what in the hell is fantasy football? Images of hobbits and goblins chasing each other around come to mind for a few of you I am sure.

Football is something that can dominate a home for the next 6 months. Oh yeah...it is a half of a year until the champions are crowned once more.  With Thursday Night Football on the NFL network, the venerable Monday Night Football on ESPN, Sunday Night Football on NBC, the regular games on Sunday (10 am and 1pm PST)...you get the picture. It can consume every spare minute.

But it can get worse. It is not just pro football, the college game can make a bad situation even more unsavory for the non-football types. I made it very clear in every single relationship that football is an obsession. I explained what it could entail. I was always told things like, "That's okay, I can go shopping or see friends." Nope. By week three, it was always the  same. "How much longer does this last!"

So, how can the football fan and non-football fan coexist? Here are few tips that might bring peace and harmony. 

Invite the other person to partake. But it can't stop there. Imagine sitting for seven hours, watching something that makes absolutely no sense at all. BORING, Sydney! Tell why you bleed your team's colors and who their biggest rival is. It is always fun when your best friend and significant other cheers for the enemy. It adds to the fun and makes for some "interesting" betting possibilities.

You need to explain what is happening. Point out the rules and explain why a team, does one thing and another team something entirely different. Talk about the history, make it something that lives and breathes. Sure, you might miss a play here or there, but it is an investment for the long run.

Second tip for the football person...switch off the blowout and ask your significant other person what they would like to do for an hour or two (until the next game kicks off). All you would be doing is watching the ticker at that point. That is what your phone is for these days. You will score huge, and prove that you can give as well as take.

I will close this installment with a note to the non-football lover. Do not try to talk to your football fan during the game. They will not hear you. They will not remember anything you say or ask. So if you make plans and get them to commit, don't be mad when that event happens and your football fan has no idea what you are talking about.

Until next time...

Go Hawks!