Friday, March 7, 2014

Remember the "very special" episodes from MUSTSEETV?

If you remember the 80s, then you know what I am talking about. That voice over comes in, "Next time, on a very special {insert show title}...". You knew it was going to be one of those "serious issue" episodes. Tootie gets drunk, Arnold and Willis steal a car and go on a three state killing spree...

Well, Ava fans rejoice! I am using my breaks in preparing the cancer anthology, writing the newest (and most epic to date) DEAD along with all that goes in to buying a house (in the last stages as I write this...could be any day now that I get the keys in my hand!) to chip away at the next Ava adventure. Right now, it is titled "Next, on a very special That Ghoul Ava".

I thought I would share a little taste.



Happy endings are overrated. I’m just sayin’.
After a meeting with my ghost writer, Chantal, I have decided, against my better instincts, to agree and share this story. Chantal says that sometimes a dark chapter is important; it lets the readers know that the hero is not perfect. My immediate question to her in response was to ask if she’d been paying attention to my story so far. I mean, I have two actual books under my belt (not counting the pair of short stories that I put together when I was first embarking on this adventure). So far, I would not say that I have come out looking anything like a hero.
Remember the “Must See TV” craze that NBC had going on back in the day? It started in the 80s and carried over to the early 90s. One of the things that became a bit of a staple for the sitcom was the “Next time, on a very special [insert random sitcom title here]…” As soon as you heard that voice over, you knew something bad was going to happen. Whether it was the perv who touched Arnold in his “bad place” on Different Strokes, or Tootie, Jo, Brooke and Natalie attending their first orgy, this was going to be one of those episodes that was light on laughs and heavy on the moral-of-the-story type stuff. (And I may have made up that last Facts of Life show idea, although I know a lot of teen boys who would have totally tuned in.)
This is what you might consider to be one of those stories. While I am sure that you will find more than a couple of moments to give a roll of the eyes and think, Oh, Ava, will you ever learn? This is one of those escapades that is short on ‘lighter side’ and more of the stuff that makes up real life. You know what I’m talking about…disappointment, screw ups and compounding bad decision on bad decision.
What? I’m the only one who does that? Hmm… Oh well, then I guess this will simply give you another reason to feel better about yourself at my expense.
During my little break after all of the excitement with the faeries, I did something I am not exactly proud of: I read. Now before all you literacy types get your panties bunched up, (not to mention the irony of me admitting that I hate reading as you sit comfortably someplace reading this book), I am just admitting a fact. Yes, I am a visual medium kind of girl…sue me! Although I have taken to listening to audio books lately, so a big thanks to whatever genius came up with that idea. Oh, am I blathering on? Sorry. Back to my reading.
That being said, I read a bunch of my contemporaries. I read Sookie, Anita, and Amanda. All I can say is that I must be doing it all wrong. These gals have men—or vampires, werewolves and the like—pawing at them all the time. And judging by the descriptions…it is always hunky types with six pack abs. What do I get?
Sure, I had a vampire beau, but vamps smell like hot garbage to a ghoul, so that was not all it was cracked up to be. No matter, since he is nothing but dust now. Oh…and I have an obscenely disproportionately endowed goblin named Nose Wart who sticks to me like glue.
Perhaps that was why I was so surprised when I was sitting on a bench at Washington Park just trying to enjoy the first blooms of all the rose bushes. They call Portland the Rose City for a reason. For those of you not in the know, roses are to Portland what peaches are to Georgia, beans to Boston, and cowboy hats to Texas.
Anyway, there I was just sitting on the bench…