Wednesday, March 12, 2014

For crying out loud...just SHUT UP!


I could go a lot of ways after that little banner. I could talk about people who run their mouths in ways they never would if the person they were yapping about was within punching distance...but as a writer, I feel obliged to once again call some of my brethren on the carpet.

It never ceases to amaze me when I see, read, or observe writers get bent out of shape over a bad review. Even more interesting is when they go public with their outrage. Nothing removes the mystery of why you will always be drifting in obscurity faster than when a writer goes on a public tirade because somebody failed to recognize their genius. I have one simple word of advice for all of you who think it is okay to get into a pissing contest with a blogger or random reviewer who gave you one star.


Who do you think you are? Seriously. I defy you to go any credible piece of literature and NOT find a one star review. Here are some of my favorites:

"This book was horrible I hated it omg it put me to sleep not so good hate that I needed to read this" (The Hobbit)

"This is was my first Stephen King novel and it will certainly be my last. I'm not sure why so many people recommend this book!To begin with, King takes 3 pages to explain something that he could have said in a sentence. To make matters worse, most of the details that he spends an ardously lengthy amount of time on are pointless. It is disappointing because the concept for the story has so much potential. Relative to other long books that I have read such as Les Miserables and War and Peace, The Stand is a simplistic and bland novel. The characters - who are all rednecks - as well as the plot of the story are completely uninteresting. To top it all off, the ending will leave you even more unimpressed. Overall, a terrible book." (The Stand)

"This is just your basic run-of-the mill soap opera that could be based on any modern day reality show. I'm just not that into you, Emily Bronte. Sorry. I'm giving my rose to someone else." (Wuthering Heights)


Do you get the picture yet? Bad reviews are part of the business. So when somebody says "A poorly-written knock-off of WWZ. Inconsistent in story and poorly edited, as well." (DEAD: The Ugly Beginning) You deal with it and move on. That is ONE person's opinion. You can't please everybody. If you think you can, then you are delusional and need to find another hobby. 

Yep...I said hobby. If you are confronting critics over bad reviews, then you are an amateur and have no business in THE BUSINESS. And if you are one of those lames who go crying to your Facebook toadies, sending them on mini-jihads against your "evil oppressor", then find that rock you came out from under and get back there where you belong.

Listen up, I realize that it can sting a little, but bad reviews happen to good people. Save up those certain reviews that really made you feel good. And the next time you get lambasted, pull one of the oldie-but-goodies and recharge yourself. But for the love of all that is holy, stop the damn crying. If you want to be taken seriously, then you need to accept that this is part of the job description. It really is that simple.


13 comments:

  1. All good points. But I have to say one thing: your blog posts often make wonder exactly what inspired them. ;-)

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    2. I am one of those people who sits back and watches what goes on around me. So much so, that people forget I am there. You see a lot that way...when people forget you are there. Also, I have a lot of friends who share tidbits with me.

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    3. And I really should proof read my comments before hitting post...6 typos in 4 lines is NOT okay.

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  2. funny i have an author on my feed who does this :) i only read one of his books but he wasn't for me, i didn't review b/c i felt like it was me not him (dang did i just break up w/him), so i didn't want to hurt his feelings; he seems very sensitive-and hey i'm just that nice... ;)

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    1. It is a tricky line to tread when feelings are involved.

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  3. “The second half of the book, after they reached Washington, was for the most part less gratuitously gory but more absurd, with its totally unbelievable fake science.”

    -One of my first reviews of Dead Trees, mentally erasing the good things reviews that preceded it. Particularly hurtful given my studies of the sciences through college, my internship at NIH, my years in a Pathology lab slicking and dicing skin samples. Yet, the reviewer had a point- If I were going to take liberties with certain elements, I needed to qualify those liberties and how I was able to take them.

    I was fragile, putting this book out, and I will admit to taking EVERYTHING personally when I first started out. You wear your effort on your sleeve, for anyone to hammer and it takes a while to grow the thick skin and perspective needed to become an ‘author’ and not a ‘hobbyist.’

    Even recently, a blogger contacted me to pre-warn of the review, that they had found inconsistences. I’m not ashamed to say I internally freaked a bit- how many hours (months) had I spent checking for those very issues? More than I care to quantify. At first, I panicked, drama-queened it up to one of my besties, and then I wrote the reviewer for clarification so that I could improve the story. And, after I spoke to the reviewer, I further understood what she was seeing in the story. It was helpful, especially as I write the sequel.

    Of course, it was a little embarrassing to write the few people who were currently reading to review the book. Todd, you were one of them. Your response was especially soothing. It was so- ‘hey, it happens. I remember in my book when…’ It was exactly what a writer who still wears her emotions on the outside of her body needed to hear.

    Reviews can be so objective, completely relative, they can be constructive & sometimes destructive, but I do feel now that I can learn something from each one. I know I can’t please everyone, but I can further understand the nature of opinions.

    -Eli

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    1. Just a little bit of something to pass on to you, Eli. I am actually reading your book at night when Denise and I go to bed. Actually, I am reading it to her out loud like a bedtime story. She and I are REALLY enjoying it so far.

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    2. Thank you, Todd!!

      Very nice of you to share that with me and I'm so glad Denise is enjoying it too! Love that it's your current bedtime book! <3

      (and- talking about proofreading and typos- I said 'slicking and dicing skin samples' in my comment above... I often 'slicked' the samples before I processed them... Urgh).

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  4. Ugh... Those 1 star reviews... They hurt, and what's worse even is they can be VERY distracting.. leaving me second guessing nearly everything I write. It. Sucks. End of story. I take it and move on, and would never try to convince someone their opinion is wrong, specially not on the internet.

    I've seen a few of these battles though, even on the KDP message boards. I have to say that they are entertaining at least. I'm just glad it's not my name up there making a total ass out of myself.

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  5. I admit that first one stung...but the trick is to learn the split between trolls, and honest critique. But at no time did I feel compelled to get into it with a person over a bad review. Gotta love the social media meltdown.

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  6. The worst 1 star review I ever read was on an art book I had been waiting for. It read something like this: I didn't purchase this book so I don't know why it has been included among my purchases. I looked to delete it but can't find out how so I have to write something to get rid of it........
    I was so ticked off! It is not quite as personal as for you the author. You bare your soul & lay your heart out on the butcher block. I felt for all the artists in that book, waiting for it to come out and then to see that! A perfect example of why I like animals!
    P.S. Todd, I wrote you a deep & meaningful email & thought you didn't answer. Sorry for any neg. thoughts I may have sent your way. (I'm kidding, no negative thoughts.) My computer is a raging piece of @#/t and it never sent the letter or gave me a notice that it failed. I will try again if I ever get it working correctly. I wanted to thank you for the help you have given me with some problems I have. So THANK YOU!! You know me as bellesmom, I think. Your books have given me an escape that I was starting to think I wouldn't get again. I'm not trying to be mysterious, I just don't want to lay out my problems on your blog. You will get a better thank you when I feel like my computer is not going to share any problems either, any way Thank you to you and your wife, you are both very lucky to have each other. Take care,
    Kathy

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    1. Yeah, I have seen a few of those. People giving 1 star reviews because they had not yet received it...so the author gets dinged for a mail snafu.

      As for the other, I will look forward to hearing from you as soon as your computer decides to cooperate. And my wife sends her best.

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