Okay, I admit that I am a bit old...48. And maybe I am not always up on the latest trends. However, I feel that there is something chipping away at society and it needs to be said.
Friend is NOT a verb. A friend is somebody who is there for you in times of need and trouble. A friend is somebody who laughs with (or sometimes AT) you. A friend knows what you like and what you do not in the big scheme of things. A friend is not some random and anonymous person that clicked a button on social media.
Can you make and meet real friends via the social media? Sure. I have a few people very near and dear to me that I would have never met otherwise. However, I feel that the "friend" feature of Wastebook has turned that word into something flimsy and lacking substance.
The whole social media thing has made communicating so difficult; not to mention, impersonal. When somebody posts some bit of tragic news on social media...I have a hard time hitting the "like" button. And if I am at a loss for what to say (or, Heaven forbid, miss the post) then it is if I did not show that I cared. And I am not the kind of person to type {hugs}. I give them...but I do not type them as a form of communication.
Worse still, is if you send a message and the person reads it with their own slant, you can be completely misunderstood. The word "whatever" can have a dozen meanings depending on how it is said...inflection of the voice, et cetera. What happened to picking up the phone?
So, while I doubt this will gain much traction...I invite (notice that I did not say "challenge") you to actually CALL or...if you are feeling REALLY crazy, physically go see a REAL friend in your life. Let them know you do actually care, and that you might not read or respond to all of their posts.
But you are still a friend:
1friend
noun \ˈfrend\
: a person who you like and enjoy being with
I appreciate where you are coming from, and most people would agree with you, but there are some of us that find it difficult interacting with others in "real life", for a variety of reasons. Some of us can't get out much, because of physical disability, mental/emotional reservations, or responsibilities, like a special needs child, that tend to keep us at home.
ReplyDeleteI try not to judge others on this basis because I know that I fall into this category and I know how discouraging and dismissive it can be when people tell you that if your main communication is through social media, you don't have any real friends - or even worse, that you aren't being a real friend to others.
I do get out, thanks to work, but if it weren't for social media, my only friends right now would be my co-workers. I like to think I have real friends beyond work, that these friends understand my circumstances and don't place demands on me I can't meet, and I can call them real friends even if I don't get to spend any time with them in person. I'm also not a phone person, I dislike them a great deal (hate would seem a little harsh) and that's one of the many reasons I don't have a cell phone, so that limits telephone interaction.
Lastly, I have a hard time trusting people. Many people who were bullied when they were younger and currently have problems in life people don't understand (like an autistic son) need time to get to know someone before they are comfortable with them. I don't want to find out after I've started investing in someone that they've decided I'm lazy because of the way I look or that they think I should be able to better control my son and that his unusual behaviour is all on me, autistic or not. That hardly makes a sound foundation for a friendship. Since I can't get out much, the only way I can find out these things about other people so I can make true new friends is communicating via social media.
So I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one. Facebook has been a sanity saver for me and I'm grateful for the people I've connected with all over the world I now call friend, many who share in similar challenges in life. I doubt I'll ever meet them in person, but that doesn't change what they mean to me.
You have excellent points. SO good that I could copy and paste it as its own post as a point/counter-point. I will deny the uses of social media, but (for me at least) it has taken away so much personal and direct contact. I think some people have forgotten how to interact directly. And don't even get me started on cyber-bullying where people now have the freedom to rant unfettered about total strangers with no repurcussion.
DeleteAnd the beauty is that people can have different views and remain friends. One of my best friends is about as far to the other side of the spectrum as he can get from me...and we don't try to change each other...we accept each other's beliefs and differences. I can and do value and respect your opinion.
hahaah at WasteBook! but it has its good bits - being able to connect with you is one of them. However, I know what you mean regarding "liking" and commenting..... and Im not sure you can call 48 OLD!!!
ReplyDeleteSnarf!
DeleteAnd yes, you are one of those people I would have missed out on otherwise. This is a case where I am not sure I can fully put my opinions into words. C'est la vie...
:-)
We must be on the same wavelength TW. I blogged/podcasted on a related topic today.
ReplyDeleteJames, for those in the dark, share your podcast addy here.
DeleteI agree with you, Chantal, and Vix! Three great perspectives that I can relate to. It's as if coins have three sides. :)
ReplyDeleteyou're younger than I am...I'm so depressed! I was hoping that with all of the things you have accomplished that you were at least 250-300 years older than I am...sigh, (still spinning from missing the main point)
ReplyDeleteI'm kidding (sort of) I couldn't agree with you more, especially on the bashing. We have really become a society of people who will pry into business we don't belong in & say the harshest criticisms to people we don't even know slightly. A lot of good & bad come from our modern world. I can only go by rumors, I can't keep anything electronic working long enough to have a real opinion.
You and electronics...you remind me of Sam Neil's character in Jurassic Park. And there are some good things from all the electric noise...I have met some WONDERFUL people.
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